Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.
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Wife : You tell a man something: it goes in one ear and comes out of the
other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out
of the mouth.
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Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : I think you're pretty ugly.
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Peter : Mom, does God use our bathroom?
Mother : No, Peter. Why?
Peter : Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning and yells, "Oh god,
are you still there?"
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Customer : How much is that tie?
Salesman : Forty dollars.
Customer : Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that much money.
Salesman : But how would a pair of shoes look around your neck.
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Jimmy : Mom, can I have two piece of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.
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Woman : How can I ever repay you for your kindness and consideration to
me?
Man : By cheque, money order or cash.
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Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I am comfortably
seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.
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Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last week.
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Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
Son : Well, it's a sponge cake, isn't it?
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Man : I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man : Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy : Because bank directors are always highly paid.
17-07-02, 06:19 AM
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